If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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