Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
