Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
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I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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