Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
