I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You can't motorboat a personality
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
