i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
