We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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