haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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