I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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