i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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