Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
