so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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