She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
