Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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