Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's just like the Real World with babies
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
