Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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