Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
