ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
