Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
