Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
