You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
