Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
