Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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