So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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