just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
