I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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