Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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