Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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