why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
