The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
