i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
