U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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