oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
