At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
