I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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