Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
