Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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