is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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