Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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