If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
