ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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