I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
