It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know