So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.