White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
