please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
