I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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