So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize