After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
