i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
