i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
