I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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