I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
