if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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