Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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