i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
