nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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