Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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