I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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