considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
