Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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