You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
