i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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