Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
