Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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