what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
