I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
