is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
