It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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