Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
