I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
