the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
