Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
