i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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