I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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